being at home is so wonderful. i am a million times happier than i was in new orleans

so far since ive been home i have accomplished many things. like...

i bought an $1100 suit omg it is gorgeous
i also bought a much cheaper suit from h&m among many other clothing items
i got a full-time job that starts monday and pays really well
started initial planning for the construction and set-up of my new darkroom
re-adjusted my sleep schedule to a non-nocturnal one
miraculously avoided 2 parking tickets
spent many hours of quality time with caleb & maisie
ordered $30 worth of white castle drive-thru after a night of drinking
stamped and mailed all of the wedding invitations
had lunch with ellen and walked around the BBG admiring the cherry blossoms and avoiding the crowds of the sakura matsuri this weekend

i have accomplished more in the past week than i have in the previous 4 months

i'm coming home like right now so lets make plans and celebrate

for lunch i ate 15 raw almonds and a glass of wheat grass and algae juice


mmmmmmmmm

after looking through the pile of magazines i bought today i have decided i want some shirts from the paul smith spring collection.

"There's sex for self-improvement start to finish and there's sex for killing time straight through; sex that is therapeutic at first only to end up as nothing-better-to-do, and vice versa. Our human sex life --- how shall i put it?--- differs funadamentally from the sex life of the whale."

i went to the shrink today and filled out the necessary paperwork to drop out of school. tomorrow its to the deans office and i dont have to worry about it anymore.

now i need a doctors note stating that i am not crazy anymore to come back to school. oh well there is no other way and its for the best.

my phone should be working tonight i hope

STOP READING MY BLOG FUKKER!

im not 4 but i do want my mommy. BUT SHE'S DEAD. do you know what thats like? do you know what its like to be thrust into school immediately after your parent's death and to not be able to deal with it out of fear of dissappointing your family. do you know what its like to after 4 years not be able to deal anymore. do you know what its like to be alienated by your friends because youre depressed and you need space. maybe you do. prolly not.

SPACE!

something i am unable to get

if i wanted help i wouldve asked.

if youre trying to help a depressed person do you give them cocaine? ever?

we are not all as innocent as we may like to think we are.

were just nosy and arrogant.

wanna know why im so depressed!?!?

my mom died
ive been in a dysfunctional relationship for the past 5 years
last semester didnt go as planned
this semester hasnt gone as planned

you finally got your way good for you
now shut the fuck up
stay out of my life!

estou escrevendo em português porque não quero que todo mundo possa ler isto. tem pessoas demais lendo este blog pessoas das quais não gosto, que não quero que eles façam parte ou saibam da minha vida pessoal ou meus pensamentos.
hoje aprendi que terei de procurar moradia para o proximo ano. estava pensando nisto antes e discutindo isto com meus amigos de verdade. na verdade eu nunca quis morar com o jorge. eu decidi morar com ele só porque não queria que ele sentisse que ningém queria morar com ele. eu já tinha um apartamento para mim. ele sempre tem se comportado como o apto pertence só a ele. todas as regras da casa foram mandados por ele. hoje ele disse, "eu tenho sentido que você não tem percebido nada que eu queria este semestre."

FODA-SE SEU DESGRAÇADO. SEU VIADO PUTO.

agora a questão é: morarei sozinho ou com companheiro de quarto?

today i got to do manly things and i went to home depot and bought screws to fix will's door and then i went over to his house and thoroughly impressed him with my handyness. ive been invited back to try my hand at the ceiling fan.

i messed up my knee on friday night and have barely been able to walk since.

i stole a pair of jeans from nina today theyre a bit too big but i like them. i will return them when i damn well feel like it.

am i stupid for getting so emotional when i watch garden state? i think i might be. but i see too many parallels.

i was told by rusty that i am to give amanda away at her wedding. i was unaware. maybe its untrue.

i dont care about the pope. thank god terry schiavo died.

im glad to be more alone now that rusty is gone.