i can not resist her, there is simply no way.
i see her and i think thats what i want.
i think about what i want and she is what i see.
lying next to me sleeping in the grass
this is love, that i can't have or i'm told i shouldn't.
she looks so beautiful
i just want to embrace her and doze off to the sounds of the birds and children in the distance
I want my life to be simpler, i want to just have this,
the grass the pond the birds and her
sleeping next to me
occasionally making sleepy grunts of satisfaction
or surprise
as i tickle the back of her arm with a blade of grass

she told me i'm a hopeless romantic when i showed her what i had written while she was sleeping and that she loved me. i just felt like a tool for writing such who knows what. yesterday was great. i feel good seeing ari and then a trip inside was loads of fun. i dont think ive ever been greeted in my life with such celebration. everyone mustve thought i was a star. my first day back was better than i was expecting. my first days back in december were much more flipped out and anxious. sherry warned me that just cause im amanda's little brother doesnt mean im off limits. i was unaware