according to rusty, i(and amanda) am(are) skating on the edge of sanity and i am only going to let her drive my car in an empty parking lot in first gear. i am here to declare both of these things factual. leaving brazil is not so much of a happy thing. my impending departure brings increasing anxiety. anxiety, the bane of a zug's existence yet its only friend. são paulo has now become the third home and to some degree more so than new orleans. that this here has become normalcy concerns me about my return to "os estates". everyone doubts my love for brazil and my contentment with being here and i resent it, but im not going to say that home is not where i want to be right now.
everything in its place and time. order is essential. life can be controlled. happiness can be attained.
this is my mantra.