my father thinks either im losing my mind/a serious drug addict/generally out of control or a big gay slut. my father has lived his/her life being obsessed with labels and roles and not those which we place on ourselves but those which society places upon us. my father lived his whole life feeling as if he was a woman trapped in a mans body finally at the age of 50 went through a physical metamorphosis and now is a woman according to the government and physical appearance. has anything about my father changed internally which makes my father more or less of a man or woman over his/her lifetime? i would say no. is this a result of the lifelong socialization my father recieved? my father is the same person she always was she just looks different. over the past 2 years my hair has gone from and less than and inch long to more than shoulder length and back to short. a change in my appearance i would say equally as drastic but still i am the same person.

as a type 8 we all know that if there was one word to sum me up it would be willful

as i get older i find myself caring less and less about what im supposed to be or do or say or how im supposed to act or dress. basically i dont give a shit about what people think. or at least not as much and with each day i care less.

i was talking to george the other day about my behavior recently with drugs and alcohol people and he said that i was simply testing the limits of acceptability.

this made so much sense to me. a lot more sense than anything else has in a long time

what am i doing?

I AM FUCKING WITH SOCIETY

if people are going to say that i cant do something because of who i am and if i do it im somone else im going to try my hardest to say fuck you im going to do whatever i want and be who i am based upon my own rules and definitions.

my actions dont make me

I ALREADY AM