new orleans was weird. i didnt like being there. it made me remember all the stress and anxiety of the past year and all my unhappiness. it was good to seen some friends though. recently i have been going through a period of noticing that my friends in new orleans actually like me. but i am a fucking retard. either i think they hate me or they like me too much and either way its off-putting. why cant i just have normal social skills like most people?

i threw up on friday night from drinking too much at miss mae's. something i havent done in over a year. the last time was all over the hallway in my house in sao paulo after a party with a strobe light. it was all the strobe light's fault. anyway i threw up and it was over. talked to jojo a little about living with her for the first semester mext year.

my stuff all lives at the u-haul place in metarie. i hope its happy there. it should be its all air conditioned and everything.

i hung out with miyo yesterday for a bit. i hadnt seen her in a year and a half. she seemed good.

ari came home! we had a nice night together. but it was soooo fucking hot we couldnt cuddle. after the air conditioner cooled down the place in the middle of the night i woke up and had initiated forplay in my sleep. sex is always so nice to wake up to. we moved to the bathroom to avoid waking gita up and fucked against the sink in the pitch black. it was too dark-- a little strange, i like more light. but things seem like they will go well with her for the time being at least.